Sunday: Focus on the Savior (with Rachel Tatem)

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My name is Rachel Tatem.  I am a wedding photographer, wife, friend and want to be "fashionista".  I am married to my best friend, "literally the best man ever",stated channeling Chris from Parks and Recreation, oh and I should probably state that I love media.  All forms and fashions of it I deeply enjoy: I even really like advertisements, well done advertisements anyway.  I have never been called quiet a day in my life and I'm a bit too proud of it.  I love people in a big way.  I like to talk a lot but I love to dance more.  I think my voice sounds great, and I might be the only one. 

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I never know how to start these, a testament to what God has done in my life/what he has taught me.  Where do you start?  So as all things me I will just simply start. Over the years of growing up, every moment seems to take less and less time. As a child when your mother tells you to go sit still for 15 minutes I remember feeling like it was eternity.  Slowly time seems to have sped up.  Not actually but my perspective has morphed.  But in so many ways my perspective on time is still very childlike. 

 Over the years I have been married, which has not been many, there has been a lot of waiting.  Waiting for direction, waiting for purpose, waiting for jobs, waiting for the purchase of our house to go through.  For so much of our marriage we have been on hold in a desire to keep our lives focused on God, trying to honor God.  During all this waiting I feel like a child, when things don't happen within my time frame, within my reasoning of right.  So often I throw the adult version of a temper tantrum, through the most adult medium possible "prayer requests".  

You know what I am talking about.  "I would really like your help with waiting cause God isn't make Himself clear, so I can't do what He wants"...   I stand there irritated that I'm not getting my way, when I want and exactly how I want.  Slowly God has used these long years of almost continual transition to teach me over and over again: I don't matter.  My knowing what's going on doesn't matter, no matter how much I wish it did.  I am here solely to honor God with my everyday actions.  I don't even have to do much of anything... just simply give myself up daily to God. 

 Sounds so simple, so perfect... yet it is the most difficult thing ever.  Despite my failings, despite my entitled attitude and extreme arrogance God blesses me.  I think my favorite thing from this past year is that God has helped me see all the blessings, whether as simple as a great parking space on a terrible day or as huge as helping me trust, that He lays upon me everyday.  I know that I still miss so much but this year I am ever grateful to God for showing me the tiniest bit of grace He gives me.  On my worst days when I can't seem to keep my head up, somehow God helps me see grace. . . I think this is the best thing yet, for I am by no means an optimist.  I like to call myself a realist and my "Everything's sunshine" husband deems me a pessimist but he can't be trusted. : D