Potty Training or Lack Thereof

Right now my google search bar reads "What to do if your child is scared to sit on the potty".

I know that this blog is is supposed to be used for photography purposes, hence the title, but I don't feel like starting a whole new blog just to have a mommy vent so I will do it here.

I'm a first time mommy so I have never done this potty training thing before. My child has been 2 for for almost 3 months now. When she was 18 months and 22ish months she peed and pooped on the potty a couple of times. It was a big hooplah and she knew it was a grand thing to go on the potty.

I've bought her potty books, potty movies, and yes, even stooped so low as to let her see other toddlers sit on the potty in youtube videos. Yes, parents actually post those. When she didn't want to walk at 14 months it only took her one time seeing a toddler smaller than herself walking around and she started walking that day. I thought maybe the same would work for the potty.

She's been going through phases where I can get her to sit on the potty fully clothed while I use the restroom. I could even get her to sit on it right before bath time with no diaper whatsoever. But now she is completely petrified to sit on it at all. She understands that pee pee goes on the potty and she will even tell me that. She will say "no no pee pee panties!  Pee pee Potty!" Developmentally she shows all the signs of being ready to go, but she just won't sit on it.

The other day she saw my SIL putting panties on her cousin (who is 3 months older than her) and since then she wants panties. Today while we were at the store she mentioned it again so I let her pick out a pack. This afternoon as soon as she woke up from her nap. She said "Pee pee potty! Panties!" I asked her if she wanted to go pee pee on the potty and she said yes. Of course I knew she wouldn't and the second we walked in the bathroom she wanted nothing to do with the potty. She just wanted her panties. So I let her put on her panties explaining to her not to get her panties wet. That she needed to pee pee on the potty. We even helped her doll and stuffed animal go pee pee on the potty (I squirted water in the potty when she wasn't looking) and she had fun emptying their "pee pee" in the big potty, wiping them and flushing the toilet while we clapped and cheered and high-fived.

She kept saying "no no pee pee! Potty!" seemingly understanding what I was telling her. Then it happened - she peed in her panties and it freaked her out. She immediately started panicking and crying. I told her it was okay and calmed her down. She of course still didn't want to sit on the potty. Now I'm afraid I have really scarred her. I took her panties off of her and we went in and wiped and flushed the toilet. Then she asked for a "diapuh change" so I put a diaper on her.

I've been reading online and some people say to put away the potty for a few weeks and try again later so that is what I have done. The potty is out of sight now.

I'm not mad at her by any means. I just feel very frustrated that I'm not even remotely going about this the right way. She will tell me all the correct words like she understands what pee pee on the potty is all about but she is petrified of that potty. I've tried buying a new potty seat and everything and she wants nothing to do with it. I have tried not even mentioning going pee pee on the potty to her but she brings it up all the time so I'm not sure which way to take the conversation when she brings it up. She will just keep saying "pee pee potty" and then when I confirm it she says "don't want it" referring to the potty.

I'm sure you moms know how discouraging it can get. She's an extremely smart little girl. Blows me away all the time. But this is one hurtle she is resisting.

Just needed to get that off my chest...

And of course this post needs a picture, so here's a cell phone pic of her being a "may man" at playgroup today.


Leah said...

She is adorable! I have NO idea how I am going to cross that bridge when I come to it someday. Its weird that I think about things like that all the time though. Good luck, I hope things get easier for the both of you! Oh, and I really love your new banner!!

Unknown said...

Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. She's barely 2, so just give her time. We didn't even really actively try until my son was 3. He went sporadically when he was younger but when he freaked out, we stopped and waited until he let us know he was interested again. (We did bribe with a jar of goodies...small toys and treats...and a pee (even a try) got 1, a poo got 2 just to get him to actively try.) He's 4 now and fully potty trained, day and night, so it will happen. You're not a bad mom or doing anything wrong because she's not potty trained right at 2! You're putting way too much pressure on both of you! That's just my 2 cents anyway...

nursegirl said...

Just barely two is still pretty little. She'll do it eventually. Just remind yourself that you won't be taking a diaper bag to her highschool graduation. :) I hate potty training. It's nice when it's done, but the process is stressful, even if you've done it before because every kid is a little bit different. They do it at their own rate so it's usually better not to make a *huge* deal out of failure or success. Easy to say, but hard to do sometimes.

Kim Stevens said...

I agree with the other gals, just a bit over two is still young. My daughter was a stubborn one, very intense and very very smart. The advice from my pediatrician - let it be her idea, when she is ready. So we never pushed it and she rarely wanted anything to do with it. Then one day after she came out and announced that she went 'pee pee' on the potty much to our surprise. She was probably a week from her 3rd birthday. Three days later she was wearing big girl underwear. It took longer at night for her to go all the way through the night. And I can say that having two sets of sheets and leakproof mattress covers are a must for nighttime so there is as little disruption as possible. Since that seemed to work well, we did the same thing with my son.

Tezzie said...

You're doing everything right, so please don't worry!!

I'm with the other moms above...she's still really young, and she'll let you know when she's ready for it. My girl was almost 3 and my boy was 3½ when they were ready to 'go dry', and then it only took a few days for them to truly 'get it'.

I waited to start trying until we had warm summer weather, which made it all sooo much easier (less clothes to worry about, and not so uncomfortable for them if accidents happen). One thing that made life a bit easier for us, was that I had a potty outside with us when we were out in the garden. It made it easier for them to 'succeed', not having to go so far to do their business ;) In the middle of play, it can be easy to forget about having 'to go', and it can be a matter of only seconds warning.

We had a sticker reward system for each of them...I made something resembling a board game, with a long loopy path. Each time there was a successful potty happening, they got to put a sticker on one of the steps. I had small rewards (like a balloon, a bag of popcorn, a picnic in the forest etc) scattered every 10 steps, or so...and at the very end was a big reward (something we'd been planning to get them anyways; a trampoline for our boy, and a sandbox boat for our girl).

Best of luck with it all...I'm sure it'll go great once she's truly ready! (and...make sure you have LOTS of clean panties and pants on hand...they'll sometimes go through 3 or 4 pairs the first few days!!)